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Just occasionally, the fashion industry suffers a seizure of collective mass hysteria and self-delusion - a trauma that if it happened to me, or any one person, would be regarded as grounds for some intensive counselling and medication. We are living through just such a moment now, with the arrival of harem pants. Racks of these are appearing in fashion-forward High Street stores such as Zara and Hennes. What is going on? It is nigh impossible to find a good word to say about harem pants. They do not suit the old, the young or the inbetween. They look appalling on people under 5ft 5in and just as frightening on 6ft models. Even the beautiful Elen Rives - estranged partner of England footballer Frank Lampard - failed to look good in them when she was photographed on her doorstep at the beginning of the week. With the crotch halfway down to the knee, and a mass of flapping material between the legs, they make you look as if you are wearing nappies - which is not a look that works on anyone over the age of 18 months.